As I near the moment when I will be made responsible for another person’s life (I’m being induced today!), I have been putting a lot of thought into the kind of parent I want to be. What values I want to instill in my child – the kind of child I want to raise. I know a lot of people will be weighing in on what we should or should not do, so I want to jot down these reminders that I have learned (some the hard way, others not) as I grow older (but none the wiser, it seems).
This has been resonating very strong with me lately. I’ve had some experiences this year that have exposed me to the power of “hive mind” and “groupthink,” and its ability to make you feel guilty or shunned. Never lose yourself and don’t be afraid to make the right decisions for YOU. Now, I saw this on a professional level, but I will definitely be applying it to my new family. I know many people will have opinions, but the only one I’m going to take into account is my own and my husband’s because ultimately, we will know what is best for our little party of 3. But, again, this applies to all areas of life. Don’t let yourself be roped into making a decision (or not) because you don’t want to let people down or feel like you would be mocked, ignored or ostracized. No one is living your life but YOU and you only have one, last time I checked. Be selfish.
Anxiety. It’s a very real monster in my life. Last year, it ate me up inside and spit me out. This year, I refused to let it take me down and I’ve seen so many things bloom and blossom in its stead. It’s amazing what can happen when you put a little positive thinking into your daily routine. That wasn’t easy after losing our first pregnancy – it’s made this one hard for me. I constantly wonder if I will actually be holding a healthy, breathing baby girl at the end of this journey, but by doing so, is that changing anything? Absolutely not. This is something I have to carry with me after my child is born. I have to acknowledge the anxiety creeping in, and push it out as quickly as possible because worrying does absolutely NOTHING. I can’t tell you how many things I have conjured in my imagination that I spent countless hours, days, and weeks obsessing over that never happened or even existed. Those are lost moments from my life that I can never get back, and I refuse to let that happen when all these precious new memories are waiting to be made.
I never want to be “those people.” I see “those people” around me all the time now that I am expecting. People that instantly lose themselves in parenthood and forget who they are. Just because I am a parent does not mean I need to change who I am as a person. My responsibilities will change, my life will change, my heart will expand in ways I cannot fathom and I’m sure my priorities will also shift. However, I don’t expect to change for anyone because I am now a parent. I wrote an entire post dedicated to this here. I will still be dying my hair purple, I will still watch cartoons (probably even more), I will still squee when I see Benedict Cumberbatch and will collect Pop! figures. And you know what? That’s perfectly OK. I’ve had a lot of people in my life say that they cannot imagine me being a parent because of all these things. Like somehow liking comics and girlie anime makes me so immature and incapable of taking on any responsibility, that I cannot possibly be a mother. Open up your minds and perspectives, people. I’m silly, a free spirit, and I like fantastical things. This has no bearing on the kind of parent I’m going to be. I will not change for you to “fit in” to parental standards.
Anything you guys have learned as you grow older or take on new responsibilities, like parenthood, that you would like to add?
*All images found via Pinterest
Natasha says
All the best for you today lovely! Hope it all goes smoothly for you and this is a lovely post to read, with some amazing points and things to remember – I always smile coming to your blog. – Tasha
AgentAnnya says
Best wishes for today! You’ll be holding your little moon before you know it. This was such a great post and I agree 100%. I’ve always thought people who are still in touch with their inner child would have more fun as parents and still be awesome. So happy for you and can’t wait to see your future adventures with Luna!
Kay says
Wishing you all the best for your new little bundle!! This is absolutely great advice – especially the last one. Being yourself WHILE being a parent is so important. Being a parent, and being yourself should not be separate things!
Superorange; says
Your pregnancy journey was inspiring! I can’t wait to see more when your mommy journey begins! You’ll be great 🙂
Aimée Julia Cottle says
I can relate, so much, to the anxiety one. I have let anxiety eat me up and spit me out for too long. I need to learn to release the anxieties and just go with it. Easier said than done, but I’m working on it. Good luck with the induction. Looking forward to hearing about your journey as a mom!
melificent says
Thank you!!!
melificent says
Thanks so much my love!
melificent says
Couldn’t agree more!
melificent says
Oh my goodness thank you!
melificent says
Thank you! I think with anxiety, it is always a work in progress!
Natasha says
No worries!