Melificent

N I N E

This one hurts a little bit. Nine. NINE. You like to remind me that this is your last single-digit birthday, and I tell you to please stop. You very quickly shout “no!” paired with that contagious giggle of yours. 

I see you growing up, and it’s both beautiful and a little terrifying. A little painful. Things feel harder now. You don’t just need my help to tie shoes or to open a tightly wrapped toy. You need help understanding loss, mistakes, jealousy, anger. You want to know about the whole world, but are still young enough that I feel the need to shield you. You love academia – still a fantastic student and just as eager to go to school every single morning, not only to see your friends, but to LEARN. How you love to learn. In fact, you love it so much, you say you want to be a teacher when you grow up.

Your heart is so big. Your light is so bright. You are kind, endlessly full of quirky energy, and always ready to have a good time. Always the performer, your favorite place is on a stage, and you have added a cheer floor to the mix this year.  You are strong, and work hard to get better at the things you love. You are a voracious reader, especially of graphic novels. You love Taylor Swift and the Descendants, and I can find you creating your own choreography anytime I pass by your room. You love playing with makeup, Kuromi (and anything you consider “emo”), and learning new acro tricks. You started to travel the world with us, and can’t wait to continue to add stamps to your passport.

What I love the most is that you know EXACTLY who you are, and you are not ashamed of it in the least. You proudly state that you are a nerd and enjoy being every bit the individual you are at only nine years old. Some days are hard. Very, very hard. We are painstakingly honest with you about your ADHD, and I know you chose me to challenge me, and help me become better. I tell you every single day that you are my best friend and that we are a team. You may be an only child, but you are the furthest thing from alone. You have so many people that love you, and believe in you. 

Something about this year feels big, I can see you changing. With all the changes: from PJ Masks and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to Lululemon and Sephora, remember to never change your heart. Your soul. Do not change for one single soul. Not even for me. Not for one minute. 

Don’t forget: to me, you are perfect.

Happy birthday, moon. Cheers to new adventures ahead!

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E I G H T

Every year these just get more and more surreal. You are EIGHT. Someone said, “once they turn 8, that’s it. They are no longer little.” And I see it: in your face, in your interests, in the way you are trying to understand the world around you, but I don’t see it in your heart. It’s so big and innocent. It’s so kind and soft. It may be my favorite thing about you, but honestly there are so many it’s hard to pinpoint. 

You’re quirky and unique. You are hyperactive, bubbly and silly: always ready for a good time. You’re wickedly smart. You feel everything so deeply. You are a wonderful friend and are always there to support  and help them believe in themselves. You love family and tell me you are going to have a big one when you are older, and move to California (thanks for letting us move right next to you though). You’re so determined, and thus, so hard on yourself. I wish you could see what I see. 

You still love every minute of performing, whether it’s dancing or acting. You want to learn how to play the ukelele and the drums. You say you want to be a gaming YouTuber when you grow up, but you are starting to be heavily drawn to design + photography, like daddy. I love your imagination – you have such a creative mind and a free spirit. You love to travel and to experience new things (as long as they aren’t roller coasters). You live for storytelling: reading books, watching movies or making up your own. You love shopping and going to Starbucks + fro-yo. You watch football with daddy and cheer for the niners along with him. 

Baby girl, you are infinite. If you only knew the surge of love I feel every time you smile, you speak in that animated tone, you sleep perfectly holding your stuffies in bed, or when you…are just being you. I thank the universe every single day for you. That we are lucky enough to have been given you, and the gift of watching you grow. 

I love you more than anything in this world. Happy birthday, moon 🌙  I have a feeling eight is going to be great. 

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Seven.

With every one of these posts, the reality of the number I type gets fuzzier and fuzzier. Seven. Seven. Seven! 

Luna, I can say with 100% certainty that you are my world. Watching you grow has been such a gift. You are a total goofball and love to be silly. You continue to adore the arts and tell me you are going to dance forever and attend theater camp every summer. You now love baking and gaming simultaneously. You sing and make up your own songs, which I love overhearing when you think no one is listening. You are kind, but tough. You are sensitive but fiery. You vibrate with love and compassion. You can put together a mean outfit (and casual cosplay), your imagination runs wild. You are a great reader and an excellent student – you tested as gifted and are excelling in your more challenging classes. I’ve been able to share some of my favorite childhood movies with you over popcorn on the couch: experiencing them again through you is such an underrated pleasure.

But also…you challenge me. You ask all the tough questions now. You want to know about everything. But your emotions are still catching up. You want to understand the world around you, but it isn’t always easy to digest. Your frustration tolerance can be low and it’s taught me more patience and a lot about my own pitfalls as a person. You want to do it all and do it well, and teaching you about work ethic can be difficult. But despite our bumpier days, we always manage to end our days hugging, snuggling and kissing each other. 

You are complex, beautiful and radiant. You contain multitudes and even though it seems like a big number to your mama, you are only seven. The world isn’t ready for you, but I am. I can’t wait for every single second.

Happy birthday to my magical creature, my unicorn, my lion, my moon.

I love you with everything in me.

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Six.

I’d like to start this yearly post by asking the universe: HOW ARE YOU SIX??? I’ve been telling you lately that this is it, six has to be it. You can’t keep growing…I’d like to keep you here always. But that isn’t fair, is it? You are so eager to grow. To learn. To be the person you are going to be. And I can kind of start seeing that person more clearly now. And she’s beautiful (not talking looks only – remember, mommy can see inside and wow, there is true beauty and power in there).

Luna, to know you is to love you. You radiate something otherworldly. I say that a lot. I say it a lot because it only gets more true the older you get. Never let anyone take that from you. One day, you will realize that some things you believed in were not real. But your magic is not one of them. Keep it ever so close to your heart.

Even though so many things feel like they are changing (you lost FIVE TEETH, you have grown like a weed, you dance on stages now, you aren’t that into Disney anymore + you are starting to read), you still crawl into our bed in the middle of the night and I let you (I love feeling you close), you still love dinosaurs, babydolls and performing. Jojo Siwa is your everything right now, and you have a big crush on Harry Styles. You are highly sensitive and emotional, and yet so brave and confident. This year I had you take the sorting hat test on Pottermore, and you are a Hufflepuff. I called it years ago. It fits like a glove. You love hard. You play hard. You work harder.

I see you watching me now. It’s both the most amazing thing and the most frightening. You know I don’t want to let you down. You want to be like me: act like me, dress like me, talk like me, even pose for selfies like me. I hope I’m a good model to you. More than anything you want to make us proud, so I tell you I am every single day because it’s the truth. Most days, roles are very much reversed and I’d like to be you when I grow up: an effervescent fairy leaving a trail behind her of smiles, glitter and joy, bestowing light on everyone she meets.

Lulu beans, I love you infinity x a million. Thank you for choosing me and, in doing so, solidifying that magic is very much real.

Happy sixth, my lion.

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Five.

Five. Incredible. 

This birthday feels more surreal than the others have. Maybe it’s because it’s 2020 and your year as a 4 year old was cut short thanks to a pandemic. We’ve all been stuck together for 7 months mostly indoors and peppered by some sense of normalcy: a play date at a friend’s, beach days, rides on the boat, car rides to quick photo adventures. Four was hard for you. It hurt you to not see friends, to not run around on a playground, to not go on family adventures. You laughed less, and cried so much more. Mommy did the same. 

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