Life with Luna: Supercalifragilistic

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I know these posts initially started to highlight what Luna was wearing, but it has kind of turned into a very vulnerable window¬†into my life as a mother at different points in Luna’s life. And I’m pretty OK with that. What I’m not OK with at the moment? Transitions.

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I’m not going to lie and say that I have everything under control. I don’t.
I wish I could be home with my daughter more than anything in the world. Going back to work full time was not an easy choice. I know I was lucky enough to be able to wait until she was over a year old to make the transition, but it has been just as difficult. I cry. A lot. Like, almost every day. Sometimes it hits me mid day when I’m using the bathroom at work. Sometimes I cry the entire way to work. Having to deal with problems at her current daycare have only made matters worse. So things have been very emotional over here these days, and that is putting it very lightly. Compile other extraneous (and unnecessary) stressors and sometimes I feel like my sanity is being chipped off slowly.

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However, in the same breath, Luna is spectacular. Our moments during the week when we are together are so special and peppered with so many giggles and hugs. Our routines are smooth, and she is for the most part, a very happy and sweet little toddler. She is still my “wild child,” often running around faster than I can believe and not wanting to hold my hand, but so so loving and amazing. Breathing her in when she is sitting on my lap is better than any anti-anxiety medication, although I still abide by my one-drink-a-night-to-stay-sane rule.

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Overall, life is messy. And I don’t have it figured out.
But it’s my mess, with my favorite people. And it’s not really a mess. It’s just life.

Onesie; c/o Younglings
Pants + Cardigan; Target {no longer available}
Shoes; Converse
Hat; H+M {not available online}

 

ps; any other mommies have lengths of time where they are extremely emotional?

  • Arbine

    Okay, so Luna is just so freakin’ adorable!

    I have two daughters and I think I’m emotional 90% of the time. Unnecessarily over stressed. But then they smile or make me laugh, and my heart is full again.

  • Danielle Knapp

    I so very much appreciate your vulnerability in these types of posts. Motherhood really does have so many emotions <3

  • Elsie Rodriguez

    It still hurts every freaking day that I had to go back to work at 4 months. And I feel like everyone around me has had a chance to become stay at home moms and it kills me. I am a green monster about it and extremely bitter and resentful and angry all the time about it. It’s a terrible pill to swollow. I hate it. And I don’t think these feeling will ever go away.

  • Nivian Hernandez

    I went back to work when Josh was 12 weeks old, and it still hurts just as much as it did the first day to drop him off at my Mom’s. Thankfully he’s there, but the other day he looked right at her and called her Mama. Ugh. ::Cue heart falling out of butt:: Nothing beats taking him home and letting him fall asleep on me (even though I know that’s a no-no). It’s these little moments that I treasure and take with me all day at work that keep me level headed.

  • melificent

    Aw thank you.
    Good to know I’m not alone and that these feelings are just a part of motherhood!

  • melificent

    That is does, my friend.

  • melificent

    It’s tough. It really is. Especially when people ask me who is watching her, and I respond “daycare.” The looks I get and the “poor baby” comments make me want to punch people. They don’t understand that some of us don’t have “the village.” It doesn’t help with the mom guilt I feel on a regular basis as is.

  • melificent

    That’s what I have to remember to take with me while I’m at work. But then, of course, I think of them and I cry. My life revolves around different intensities of meltdowns these days. No es facil.