I know these posts initially started to highlight what Luna was wearing, but it has kind of turned into a very vulnerable window into my life as a mother at different points in Luna’s life. And I’m pretty OK with that. What I’m not OK with at the moment? Transitions.
I’m not going to lie and say that I have everything under control. I don’t.
I wish I could be home with my daughter more than anything in the world. Going back to work full time was not an easy choice. I know I was lucky enough to be able to wait until she was over a year old to make the transition, but it has been just as difficult. I cry. A lot. Like, almost every day. Sometimes it hits me mid day when I’m using the bathroom at work. Sometimes I cry the entire way to work. Having to deal with problems at her current daycare have only made matters worse. So things have been very emotional over here these days, and that is putting it very lightly. Compile other extraneous (and unnecessary) stressors and sometimes I feel like my sanity is being chipped off
However, in the same breath, Luna is spectacular. Our moments during the week when we are together are so special and peppered with so many giggles and hugs. Our routines are smooth, and she is for the most part, a very happy and sweet little toddler. She is still my “wild child,” often running around faster than I can believe and not wanting to hold my hand, but so so loving and amazing. Breathing her in when she is sitting on my lap is better than any anti-anxiety medication, although I still abide by my one-drink-a-night-to-stay-sane rule.
Overall, life is messy. And I don’t have it figured out.
But it’s my mess, with my favorite people. And it’s not really a mess. It’s just life.
ps; any other mommies have lengths of time where they are extremely emotional?