This birthday feels more surreal than the others have. Maybe it’s because it’s 2020 and your year as a 4 year old was cut short thanks to a pandemic. We’ve all been stuck together for 7 months mostly indoors and peppered by some sense of normalcy: a play date at a friend’s, beach days, rides on the boat, car rides to quick photo adventures. Four was hard for you. It hurt you to not see friends, to not run around on a playground, to not go on family adventures. You laughed less, and cried so much more. Mommy did the same.
But somehow, throughout it all, you were still the little beacon of light and magic in my life. Sometimes you would say things that were beyond your years. Sometimes you would hug me when I needed it the most. Sometimes you would make me laugh when I wanted to cry. A lot. And even though balance during this time has been impossible and I have felt like I am failing you daily, all this time together has allowed me to see you grow like I couldn’t before working nearly all day.
Luna, you are SO smart and articulate. You are a peacekeeper, with deep emotions. You have “big feelings” and enjoy talking about them. You always should. You love to dance, you make up songs for everything and I love hearing them. You have taken so much comfort in cuddles, and have reverted to sleeping with us in the middle of the night. It’s ok. I understand. I feel the same and never send you back. We have grown even closer, and I know sending you back to school will be just as difficult for me as it will be for you.
You are a social butterfly and adore animals. You will chat with anyone and make friends anywhere you go. Honestly, your energy is so bright, you make anyone’s day that has the pleasure of having you in it.
You were once told, “Luna, the world needs more people like you.” And I couldn’t agree more. You are special, and not just because you are mine. I can’t really describe it except that you radiate. Even through your sadness, anger and confusion during all this, you have not let it dull your spirit. You perfectly embody how being sensitive does not mean you are not strong. I’ve learned a lot from you this year. Yes, from a 4 year old.
And I know it’s only the beginning. There’s something about you that doesn’t always seem “of this world,” and I find myself wondering how these good things, amazing things, get put in my life. I know you are going to do incredible things. And continue to teach me all along the way.
Mommy is immensely proud of you, baby girl.
Keep that magic tight inside of you and never let anyone take it away. It is your power.
Happy fifth, my lion.