thirty one.

I was inspired by the lovely Mandy of Harper’s Happenings and her post on turning 31 to write my own. As you all know, I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with hitting my 30’s, but I feel like this year I have learned a lot about myself and I like the direction I am heading. Most of all, turning 30 has made me realize that there is no need for me to try to be anyone else but myself. This is me, and I will throw it out there on a plate for you to either take or leave. I do not have to change for anyone, for anything or because I am a certain age, in a certain profession or living in a certain city.

I am learning that if you believe in yourself, anything is possible. You can do anything. Also, hard work goes a long way. If you want something, work your ass off, and you will get it. I’m further learning the importance of a good work ethic and how far that will get you. But aside from personal and career goals, are interpersonal skills. I used to be that girl that would try relentlessly to like you, even if I just didn’t. Now? If I don’t like a person, I just don’t. I will not try to force myself to change my mind or worry what other people will think. Actually, the entire bit about worrying what other people will think has kind of gone out the window as well. You are not going to like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you. And life will go on. Those that do not bring something positive to my life are out of it, those that do are cherished.

Communication has become the forefront of relationships. Honesty. I know at times that may be scary, but at the end of the day, I don’t want people to not know where I am coming from or what I am trying to say. I want to lay it out there for them. I am an open book. Ask me a question, and I will answer it as truthfully as possible. Life is too short to play games with others. I also feel like it is easier to spot people’s true nature than it was when I was younger. This makes it a lot easier to define expectations. I used to put people on pedestals, and when those came crashing down, I was devastated. Those pedestals aren’t immediately erected anymore. I am more cautious and observant.

The realization that life is flying by is also something new. I was just coming to grips with the fact that I was turning 30, when I am now another year older. It has forced me to look at my life and realize exactly what I want out of it. It has made decisions a lot easier to make, and things I thought I wanted desperately seem not as important (and vice versa).

Now, this post is by no means intended to come across that I believe I am all of a sudden perfect now that I am in my 30’s. What I am is very aware of my imperfections. I know I can be selfish, self-involved, neurotic, have a princess complex, and a lack of compassion. I know all of that. But all I can do is try my best to work with these flaws and attempt to overcome them.

I know I’m usually not this frank or open on the blog about personal issues, but I feel that it is important from time to time to get a glimpse of the girl behind the blog. I truly feel like life is only just beginning for me, for us, and I am excited to be able to share it with all of you. Every year, even with its bumps and bruises, gets better and better. And I am looking forward to this one.

Happy birthday to me.
(technically on Sunday)