Melificent

Work|Life Balance

I don’t usually blur the line between my hobby (blogging) and my career (behavior analysis), but I feel like this particular topic can benefit us all in this crazy culture that we are living in. For those of you that don’t know, I have another instagram (@behaviormagictherapy) where I share ABA tips + tricks, and I posed the question of sharing my thoughts on work/life balance and everyone replied with a resounding yes. So here I am.

My field (amongst others I’m sure) is renown for blurring boundaries and having severe burn out within the community. Working so closely with families day in and day out can cause you to always be “on,” and I was able to manage this pressure with relative ease for years…until I started a family. The second I became a mom and came back after maternity leave, I felt an insane amount of stress and anxiety with the task of balancing my child, my husband, my hobbies AND still being a kick ass analyst. And yes, although at times I feel bogged down and let my negative thoughts consume me, I know I am still good at my job. But that is because, although I learned to say no to others some time ago, I am just recently learning to say no to myself. And that by saying no to my overachieving, over anxious mind, I can still manage to do a good job without negatively effecting myself and other (honestly more important) areas of my life.

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Chicago with Kid{s}

Travel. Something we as a duo have always loved. It almost defined us for awhile, always looking for an adventure whether near or far. It personally gives me life to go to new places and have new experiences. To see how other people live. To breathe in a new culture. It was always a romantic notion that I would be able to do this with my little one in tow, and the time had finally come. We had decided to put on the training wheels and take her somewhere that wasn’t too far, that we had traveled to a few times already and that was kid friendly. We ultimately decided on Chicago.

Luna shocked us with her stellar behavior on the plane. I packed her a small backpack with some new toys and activity books (all from the Dollar Store), along with her tablet loaded with her favorite movies and some headphones. I also brought some lollipops to help with the change in pressure during take off and landing. Even with connecting flights, turbulence and no service or bathroom access, she didn’t complain once. We had prepared her a couple of weeks before with these awesome books that I found on Amazon. She knew what to expect, and I think that eased her anxiety.

We stayed at StayPineapple at The Alise, which was SUCH a lovely hotel. It was super central, in The Loop, which is very important when you have a little one in tow. They also have an amazing restaurant and bar (The Atwood), which was great after long days where we were too tired (or the weather was too bad) to look for one to visit. I think Luna loved the hotel more than the city, and would ask to go back to it all the time! She especially loved opening the huge windows and watching the busy city in the morning.

One important lesson we learned was that we cannot travel the same way we used to. It may seem obvious, but our kid is pretty good (as far as 3 year olds go anyways), and is used to our lifestyle, so we thought we could carry on in a new city. Not the case. She found some things to be the actual worst (like Navy Pier, especially when she saw all the fun amusement park rides were shut down or shopping down the Magnificent Mile), would get overtired or overstimulated, and it would result in the most psychotic of tantrums. She doesn’t tend to make these scenes in public so it led to some frustrating and embarrassing moments. Sometimes we had to walk a very long way, only to walk a very long way right back because she was not having it. We had a very loose daily itinerary and didn’t stress when we couldn’t do something or had to leave early. This is so important.

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Tattoo Tour

Funny enough, while filling out one of those Instagram templates about tattoos, I had several people comment that they had no idea I had so many. One suggested a tattoo tour, and here I am! I love all my tattoos, I love the culture and the way they make me feel. In a very conservative city like Miami, they are often covered up, as people here are not always very fond of them, but I’d really like to change the stigma. Sure, it is lifting in many places, but I feel like if you are a young professional mother, they are still frowned upon, which is just the silliest.

I have established really amazing relationships with my main tattoo artists, and I really love that I have mainly been tattooed by women. I’ll be sharing the who/what/where of them, and also their stories because although they are really pretty or cool to look at, they also have deep meaning.

  1. Butterfly on lower back // Tattoos by Lou // Artist unknown

Lets start at the beginning. I didn’t hesitate one minute when I turned 18. The only birthday gift I wanted was a tattoo, and it was quite the affair. My older sister came with me, along with a pile of my friends. I picked something off the wall, at a generic but popular tattoo shop and put it in the most eye roll inducing spot ever. What can I say? I was a teenager. Yes, I have a tramp stamp. No, I don’t care in the least. I have fond memories of it, and that time in my life. Plus, I never see it. Like, taking these photos is when I was able to really get a good look at it after all these years.

2. Smashing Pumpkins heart // Tattoos by Lou // Artist unknown

My second tattoo was the SP logo. They were my favorite band, with an adorable logo, so it was only natural I would get it tattooed. I know a lot of people get freaked out getting “favorites” tattooed, especially when they are young, but I can honestly say they are still my favorites. If you know me personally, you definitely know this is true. I got this one about a year after my first, so I went to the same shop with my best friend at the time, who got her first that day as well.

3. Smashing Pumpkins lyric // Ocho Placas // Javier Betancourt

There was a very big gap in time between my 2nd tattoo and my third. Like, 8-ish years (?) worth of a gap. In that time, I had a lot of friends that were into tattoos and was way more informed as to what a good shop and a good artist was. This was a totally spontaneous one. My husband and I were at a bridal shower where we had a few too many tropical drinks and started talking about tattoos. Before we knew it, our friend who has beautiful handwriting had scratched out two of our favorite Smashing Pumpkin lyrics and we were at her most trusted shop, Ocho Placas, with its most talented artist, Javier (who is now the owner). Mine is from the song, Fuck You (An Ode to No One) and reads, “Destroy the mind, destroy the body, but you cannot destroy the heart,” while my husband’s is from Muzzle and reads, “I fear that I am ordinary, just like everyone.” Fun fact (s): it was his first tattoo + I was wearing a dress when I got there so I had to go into a private room so I wouldn’t be exposing my goods for everyone to see. Ah, youth.
Unfortunately, this one will be covered up in the near future as it hasn’t aged well due to placement. It rubs up against my pants a lot and has gotten really blurry and hard to read.

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Three.

I am having a hard time processing the fact that I am writing your THIRD birthday post here on the blog.

Even though you are only 3, your big personality is shining through. I have loved getting to know you, and am going to love every second of continuing to watch you grow and evolve into the amazing human being you are. Sometimes, when you put your face close to mine and giggle infectiously like only you can, I take a moment to take you in. REALLY take you in. And I can’t believe you are mine.

Your imagination is wild, and you love to make believe. Dressing up is your favorite and I can only address you by whomever you are dressed like at that moment or you will quickly prompt me otherwise. You hate conflict and will constantly try to make things right – even when your friends get into disagreements or are sad. You are so social and affectionate. You love to hold hands, group hugs and seeing others smile. Your smile, though, is the one that could light up the whole world.

You love fashion and prefer to wear dresses over anything else. Every day after school,  you ask to change into a different princess dress, although if Elsa is an option, you will always choose her. You dance. Constantly. When you aren’t dancing, you are performing a scene from one of your favorite movies or TV shows. You really love PJ Masks and Blippi, and could watch Frozen Fever for hours on a loop. You are easily scared by villains, but love to watch Jurassic World. Blue is your favorite and I’m pretty sure you have a crush on Chris Pratt.

You inherited your mom’s sense of adventure. You are curious and love to explore new situations and places. You prefer to be out and about, but sometimes will ask for home if you are really tired. You love spending time with our friends, and love their attention. You are at your core, a happy child: full of energy and a free spirit. You are playful, talkative and expressive. Your eyes are constantly sparkling with joy, and you have no idea how much my heart swells with unconditional love for you.

I say this often, because it is true. I have no idea how we got this lucky to have you. Sometimes I feel like you can’t even be human. You are so pure and magical and UNREAL. I don’t want anything to taint you. This you I see right now. You make me feel like a child again too, and that has been such a gift. I see the world through your eyes and it is so beautiful, even amongst all the ugly that surrounds us.

Happy third, my lion.
One | Two

 

 

 

All pictures by Agustin Sanchez.

Hiatus.

In my endless efforts to be transparent on this blog, I have to admit that I have not been giving it the attention it needs. Mom life, muggle jobs, and some family difficulties have made it hard to have any free time (or inspiration). I have also found Instagram is a great avenue to more personally connect with you all and share my style, life and general Melificent-ness in a quick way that doesn’t take away time from what’s important to me. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am taking a blogging hiatus. However, I will be active as ever on all my IG accounts. If you aren’t following me or my projects on there, here are simple links to do so.
@melificent
@geekgirlgangshop
@geekyfashionbloggeralliance

I hope you guys have an amazing holiday season and I’m sure this isn’t goodbye, just see ya later.