Luna’s Birth Story

Luna and I are safely back at home now, while we continue to transition into parenthood and attempting to get a little routine going. I wanted to make sure I shared my birth story on the blog before the details got hazy (truth: they already are) because I really enjoyed reading other bloggers’ recaps. A lot of the time, people won’t share the nitty gritty of their labor experience, but I think it’s important to be truthful. It helped me anticipate and prepare for what that day would possibly bring in store for me and I’m glad it did.

At about 36 weeks, Luna was diagnosed as being IUGR (Intra-Uterine Growth Restriction). Basically, that means your baby is not growing as they should be. Case in point, she was measuring 33 weeks at 36. I was immediately ordered to get ultrasounds done twice a week leading up to the end of my pregnancy. It was then that they discovered that she was in the 4th percentile in terms of weight. I was terrified. I looked up IUGR online (bad idea) and terrible scenarios like stillborns and emergency c-sections were immediately thrown in my face. Because of this diagnosis, my doctor believed it was best to induce me at 38 weeks so that we could be in control of her growth and nourishment rather than my body. Cue: anxiety.

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I had read that IUGR babies were usually induced, but that they could not handle the stress of vaginal labor, usually resulting in a c-section. I’d like to tell you that I walked into that hospital on the 13th without any fears, but I would be lying. I was very, very scared. I was scared I would not be brave, I was scared I would not be strong, I was scared for my baby’s health. But in we went. After all the necessary paperwork, I was sitting in my hospital bed, waiting for the Cervidil to be inserted so that it could kick start my body into labor. When I came in, I was only a fingertip dilated so they were hoping to progress a little faster with the medication. It has to be left in for 12 hours before removed to check status. The actual insertion was terrible, and I was bed-ridden for 2 hours afterwards, but otherwise, it wasn’t too bad. I felt my contractions increasing in frequency, but not necessarily intensity. They felt a whole lot like period cramps. No biggie. When I woke up the following morning after barely any sleep, it was removed. I was dilated 2cm. Progress! However, not enough. After a few more hours, I wasn’t advancing so I had to have my water broken by my doctor. Not. Pleasant. However, this is when the party got started. Shortly after, my contractions kicked up in intensity and I was officially in active labor.

I have a fear of needles, so the epidural was a source of stress for me. I wanted to hold off as long as possible so I beared with the contractions. I was hooked up to a machine that measured Luna’s heart rate and the frequency and intensity of my contractions (on a scale of 0-100%). I was hitting 50-60% au-natural and it was hard. I tried my best to relax and breathe through them, but they were killer. How could this only be half the intensity? After approximately 1 hour of holding on strong, I asked for the epidural. I can honestly say that it was not worth all the worry and stress – it was very brief pain and the entire process took seconds. It probably would have been quicker had I not been so tense. I was so happy to feel relief and I did…for about 10 minutes before noticing I was only numb on my right side. The other side was experiencing full-blown contractions. To make matters worse, all of this had only progressed me to 3.5 cm of dilation. This is where I began to get scared.

Unfortunately, this is when everyone started streaming in to my room to say hi. According to my husband, the contraction monitor was now reading 80-90% intensity. My vision went completely hazy, the pain was so intense that I thought I was going to have to vomit repeatedly and the contractions were coming in fast and hard. A nurse had to come in and help me breathe through them because Luna’s heart rate was being effected. At one point, everyone left the room and it was just my husband and I. It was then that I broke down and just started bawling. How was I going to do this? I felt like I couldn’t go on one more second. I felt like I was surely dying. It was then that the anesthesiologist came in and suggested he remove the epidural and do it again. I immediately agreed and we started the process all over again. Now that I wasn’t scared (and completely desperate for relief), it took under 5 seconds to administer and I felt the relief a few minutes later. It worked!

This is when they decided to check my dilation again. I could not believe it when the nurse proclaimed that I was 8cm dilated (you need to get to 10 to begin pushing)!!!! It’s incredible how much I progressed when my body was able to relax. I was so relaxed, that I asked if I could take a nap. The nurse recommended I did because I needed all my energy for the next step: getting this little one out! I slept for a good 30 minutes before starting to feel like a bowel movement was imminent. Yes. It felt like Luna was going to come out of my butt instead of the other end. I kept remarking to my husband that I felt like her head may be crowning because the pressure was getting more frequent and intense. My doctor decided to check and boom! She was! It was show time.

Honestly, the final pushing part of labor was my absolute favorite (weird?). Now that I was properly medicated, I could actually enjoy the experience because it is definitely one that I will never have again: birthing my first child. Although it was hard work (I probably should have exercised during pregnancy), I only pushed for 19 minutes total before little Luna arrived kicking and screaming into the world and my life would never be the same. The second I saw her, my body just went into emotional overdrive and the ugly crying was uncontrollable. There she was. Finally. And she was so perfect and beautiful. Small, yes. But perfect and healthy. Weighing in at 5lbs, 3 oz., Luna is the epitome of the Shakespeare quote, “And though she be but little, she is fierce.”

My recovery has been great and so far, Luna is a fantastic baby. We were sent home after the standard 48 hours and have been in baby bliss ever since. Granted, I experience ugly hormonal crying on a daily basis and sometimes I feel confused, helpless and useless, but I’m hoping as we get into more of a routine and my baby confidence grows, that will change.

Happy birthday, my moon princess!